I’m a little iffy about this section, since I’m traveling into unknown territory, but hey, I can take some liberties here and there, and experimentation is key, right? I would ask though that after reading this section, could you guys give me some feedback on how I’m doing? If you feel there’s anything I should change, or if you think a section doesn’t feel right, or whatever you feel like telling me, I’d welcome some constructive criticism.

No…
I can’t die here.
I CAN’T.
YOU’VE COME THIS FAR, RIGHT?
WHAT’S STOPPING YOU?
COME ON, YOU CAN KEEP GOING!

Basil nips at my neck impatiently, trying to elicit a reaction from me. I nod my head sluggishly to show him I still have some fight left in me, even if it is slowly draining. With all the strength I can muster, I bring my feet underneath me, and stand up…. And my head breaks the surface of the water. Basil breaks the surface as well, unwraps himself from my neck and starts his coughing-fit again, while I stand in stunned disbelief.

GG: ……..
…………..
…………………
FUCKING.
IDIOT.
STAND UP TO NOT DIE.
THERE’S A FUCKING NEW ONE.
Basil: Neekneek.
GG: you-
….
Don’t take it out on him, there’s… A “language” barrier between you two.
…
i’m alright Basil.
Basil: NeekNEEK!
NEEKNEEKNEEK!
GG: dude, chill out, i said i was ok.
Basil: NEEKNEEKNEEKNEEK!

Basil slides off of me and darts forward and up the ramp. Taking a few steps forward, I haul myself and my waterlogged wrench out of the water. Dripping with water and no way to get dry, I crossly tie my wrench-rope once more and slide it back on. I pull the handle for my reels without caring as I follow Basil up the ramp, and subsequently get pelted in the face with my phone. I catch it as it bounces off of my face, and check it to see that I have missed pesters from Cinn, Kady and Gary. Skimming over them briefly, I note that everyone’s doing fine and that there isn’t anything to worry about. Re-captchaloguing my phone, I pull the handle once more, and yet again receive my smokes. Not even caring to try for my lighter, I instead choose to light it upon a nearby flickering torch. It’s the only one in the small hallway, and since everything beyond looks rather dark, I opt to bring said torch with me.

Ugh… This had better be worth it.
Basil might be cute, but that won’t stop me from swinging him around if he’s leading me on…
Ok, maybe I won’t swing him around, but still.
I will be pissed.
….
God, how long is this fucking tunnel anyhow?
….
I’m gonna dry off before I reach the end of this.
….
And where the fuck is Basil?
I swear if that snake lead me in here just to fuck with me, I’m taking his name back.
… Yeah, no, I probably won’t do that either.
Jesus. Christ. This tunnel. Is longer. Than my-
SMACK.
GG: ow….
how did i not see that door.
it’s right in front of me.
and what is with this FUCKING SYMBOL?!
WHAT DOES IT FUCKING MEAN?
IS IT A FACE?
DOES IT STAND FOR SOMETHING?!
WHAT. THE. F-
Basil: NEEKNEEKNEEKNEEK!
GG: oh you’re still with me. thank god for that.
so… what exactly is going on with this door?
and this symbol?
Basil: Neekneek.
Neekneekneek.
GG: ……
god you’re adorable.
i wish i understood you.

I flick my long-since spent cigarette back down the hallway and bring the torch closer to the door. Looking over the symbol once more, I find that there is absolutely nothing new about this one. It looks exactly the same as the one on the door Gary and I examined earlier. Seemed ages ago he was with me… Shaking myself back to the present, I reach out and gently brush my fingers over the symbol. As soon as I touch the it, a sharp ringing pierces my eardrums. It has no external source that I can perceive, almost as if it’s inside my head. It grows louder and louder; so loud, in fact, that I can nothing else except drop the torch, fall to my knees and clutch my head in pain. Indifferent to my suffering, the ringing persists, and I can almost make out what sounds to be someone talking… Slowly, the ringing decreases in volume, until it’s no more than a whisper in my head. And when it finally stops, I am able to hear what the ringing was masking. A single word, uttered over and over, and the voice that speaks it is somewhat familiar…

Rage….
Rage….
RAGE….

The third time I hear it, it’s as though a beast growls the word in my head, low and guttural. It nearly brings me physical pain, and I’m actually dizzy as I go to stand up again. In my stupor, I step on the handle of the torch as I attempt to right myself, and my foot rolls on the wooden cylinder. Completely losing my balance, I topple forward and smash, face-first, into the stone door, and immediately black out. I wake up, almost instantaneously, it seems. But I am no longer on my world. Instead, I’m in my room, but… It’s NOT my room. The walls and floors are the same pumpkin orange I use as my text color, but everything’s there. My tv on my nightstand, my desk that Gary accidentally broke, my bed,  my guitar… It’s an exact replica of my room, the only thing different is that everything is colored pumpkin-fucking-orange. I make a fist and gently knock myself in the head… And that’s when I noticed that my duds were different too. I’m not wearing my hat anymore, my wrench is gone, and I’m no longer wearing blue jeans and white shirt with my trademark 7 on it. Instead, I’m wearing… What seems to be royal clothing? It’s purple-ish, and in place of my 7 is instead a crescent moon.

GG: ….
ok, i have GOT to be dreaming.
???: Actually, you are, in a sense.

Whirling around, I notice than on my windowsill is perched a very familiar someone, whom I’ve not seen in ages. And, at this point in time, is a sight for sore eyes.

GG: Cinn?
pardon my surprise.
it’s not that i’m not pleased to see you, cause i am.
but, uh…
the fuck is going on?
IP: You fell asleep somehow, didn’t you?
GG: well… yeah.
i put myself out, actually.
total accident.
i tripped on a torch and slammed my face into a stone door.
guess i knocked myself clean out.
IP: That makes sense.
Glad to see you’ve woken up though, even if it is a bit later than most of us. Sometimes a slightly forceful method of being put to sleep can help one awaken.
GG: what exactly do you mean, “woken up?”
and where the hell are we?
i mean, we’re in my room… i guess…
but this obviously isn’t my room.
nor is this my apartment.
IP: Nope! We’re on Derse.
And by “woken up”, I mean your Dream Self has awakened.
Literally woken up.
Because if you’d woken up before, you’d remember all this.
I know you haven’t woken up anyway cause I’ve been keeping watch on you just in case.
GG: i… uh…
ok then.
you said we’re on… Derse, was it?
IP: Yup.
Well, techincally we’re on Derse’s moon.
Come here.

Cinn hops down off the ledge, and beckons me closer. As I near the window, he sticks his hand out and points at something off in this distance. Focusing, I notice that it’s a gigantic tower, insanely tall, and it, like the rest of the “moon” we’re on, has the same coloring as my clothing: A vibrant shade of purple. Violet, to be exact. The tower in the distance looks to be the same height as the one we’re currently residing in. Gazing over the moon in wonder, from the corner of my eye I spot Cinn climb up onto the ledge of the pane-less window yet again. He holds out his hand to me, and I reluctantly take it, fearing for what will happen. As soon we clasp hands, Cinn launches out the window with me in tow. I hitch in the breath to scream, but soon realize it isn’t needed, as… We’re floating. Smiling at me, Cinn simply says-

IP: Come on. I’ll give you a small tour.

Sooo…. Thoughts?

SUCK IT WRITER’S BLOCK, I’M BACK!

Since no one was pestering me, and Gary had already turned and begrudgingly started back up the stairs into the stifling humidity, I decided a small break was in order. Untying the rope for my wrench, I propped it up against the wall with the odd symbol and sat down. Pulling the handle of my SLOTS REEL again, I glanced down at the snake still on the floor. Upon doing so, I had a slight lapse in concentration and momentarily forgot what I wanted. I paid for said lapse by having my MUSIC PLAYER launched dead at my face, where it collided with my forehead. It clattered loudly on the stone floor and the sound echoed throughout the cavernous room. Rubbing the tender spot on my head, I bent down and re-captchalogued the cheeky device. Giving the handle another firm tug, I paid attention this time. Not only did I obtain what I wanted, my HIGHLY DEADLY CIGARETTES, but I also got all three symbols on-screen, and as such, was rewarded with an extra. My SLOTS REEL will spit out an exact copy of the item I want if I get all three symbols on screen, but this was only the second time it’s happened for me. Pulling out a smoke and my lighter from my pocket, I lit it up and took a long, cathartic drag.

Tenzen’s doing fine…
Alec requested that Gary join him on his world… I wonder if Tenzen’s gonna join them…
Cinn’s probably still on his world…
I’m here on mine, soon to be alone, once Gary finds-
…Gary’s gonna go through my gate before I will.
inhale
Ah, well, not like it matters, really.
exhale
Kady’s on her world, fighting… Hope she’s alright.
Need to find a way there.
Maybe there’s a machine on her world that can pull me outta places like I did with Gary…
And I don’t know anything about Anne or Rants.
inhale
If I could find a way back home without all the humidity, I could check up on them…
exhale
If I can get back home, I need to remember to add them to my phone so I can keep in contact on the go…
I need to stop smoking too, that’d make my time in the game easier…
……
……
inhale
……
……
exhale
Nothing’s gonna get done just sitting around here. Best move on.

Dropping my smoke, I crush the cherry out and grab my wrench. Tying it back onto my-

???: NEEK!
GG: oh motherfuck, not again.

Swinging around, I noticed that the snake from before has regained consciousness and is looking directly at me. Normally, I’d be sweating slightly at this, but… There was something odd and non-threatening about the snake as I looked at it. I took a tentative step towards him and he slithered a few inches closer in response. I stepped closer, and he slithered closer still. Step. Slither. Step. Slither. Step. Slither. Now face-to-face, I finally realized what it was about the snake that put me off so. He was smiling at me. The ends of his mouth were pulled back and slightly up in a real, honest-to-god smile. For the first time in a long time, I was speechless. The snake, however…

???: Neekneekneekneek.
GG: …….
how the hell are you smiling, you’re a fucking snake.
snakes can’t smile.
….can they?
???: Neekneek.
Neekneekneek.
GG: furthermore, how the fuck are you making that noise?
also, snakes don’t go “neek”, they go “hiss”.
common knowledge.
???: NEEKNEEKNEEKNEEKNEEK!
GG: holy hell, alright, sorry.
snakes go “neek”, happy?
???: Neek.
Get ahold of yourself man, you’re talking to a fucking snake.
…Although, crazy as it sounds, I think it can understand me.
Then again, this IS a game, so, don’t think on it too hard.
… Try not to, at least.
GG: ok little guy…
do you know a way out of here?
that doesn’t involve going back up those stairs?
???: Neekneekneekneekneek.

He slithered off towards the water pool, but instead of diving in like I thought he would, he merely used his head to indicate the water. Looking at the pool, I see nothing interesting. The snake looks at me, then at the pool, and sticks his head underwater. I follow his lead, and see that it’s not a pool, but a tunnel filled with water. I pull my head back out and untie my wrench yet again. I captchalogue anything that could get ruined by water, mainly both packs of HIGHLY DEADLY CIGARETTES and my phone. And why the hell not, my lighter too, just for good measure. As I prep myself for the dive, I feel a tugging at my pant leg, and I look down to see the snake gently nipping at me. Bending down and looking at him, I see that the smile has faded from his face.

GG: what’s wrong?
???: neek.
I think he doesn’t wanna see me go…
But, wait, why would he show me the tunnel, unless…
GG: you wanna go with me?
???: NEEKNEEKNEEK!
GG: jesus, ok, calm your teats.
… know what little guy?
???: Neekneek?
GG: you need a name.
i can’t keep calling you little guy, and i certainly can’t always refer to you as “the snake”
so… how about…
Basil?
???: NEEKNEEKNEEKNEEK!
That smile looks like it’s gonna tear his face in two.
I think he likes it.
GG: alright, Basil it is then.
come here buddy, you’re coming with me.
Basil: NEEKNEEK!
NEEKNEEKNEEK!

At the mention of his newfound name, as well as accompanying me, Basil started to roll around excitedly. It’s a slightly odd change from normally seeing a snake slither, but it’s cute enough I could get used to it. Gently picking him up, I draped him around my shoulders and step towards the pool. Before I stepped in, however, something caused me to hesitate. It took me a few minutes before the thought actually formed in my head into coherency.

Can… Can snakes survive while underwater?
I mean, I’m fairly certain they can, given that Basil is almost assuredly what climbed out of here…
But I’ve never been very good with animals.
…
Snakes are techincally reptiles, right?
But… How the fuck does that help you?
You don’t know a goddamn thing about reptiles, you incompetent fuckwit!
Ok, calm down….
….
Damn it, Basil, why can’t you actually talk to me?
Ok, so, he climbed out of the water…
“Climb” is probably the wrong word to use though…
Whatever. He got out of the water.
Which means he got in somehow.
So, it logically-
GG: OW!

A sharp pain flared in my neck. Looking down as best I could, I noticed that Basil was impatiently waggling his head about. It’s obvious he bit me in an attempt to get me to stop my dilly-dallying and jump in. Given that he’s impatient and not showing any signs of fear at physically being submerged in water, I decide that snakes CAN survive underwater. Inhaling deeply, I close my eyes, step forward… And fall right in as intended. The weight of my wrench helps to carry me downward. Which takes a good thirty seconds. Thirty seconds of precious air wasted on descending, but fortunately, Basil makes the notion of exhaling or inhaling virtually impossible as he twisted around my neck like a noose so as to not lose me. As soon as he does this, my feet hit a rock bottom, and I open my eyes. Turning slowly, as though caught in molasses, I follow Basil’s gaze, and see another tunnel leading off from this one. Claustrophobia sets in as I walk, and I do whatever is possible to move faster. My feet hit a small incline, and I would have breathed a sigh of relief, if it were possible. Having a snake-noose around your neck makes breathing of any sort rather IMpossible. And suddenly, seeing things starts to seem impossible. My lungs need air, and they are not kind in reminding me. My vision starts to blur slightly. My legs begin to turn to jelly. I take one last stumbling step forward and drop to one knee at the same time. This is it. This is the end. I died, not in combat, but from drowing….

Everyone….
I’m sorry, I…

This is slightly harder than I had bargained for, but I’m working with it. Also, Tenzen, we need to talk. Since you tell us about the game and all that good jazz that comes with it, you’d know the most about it canonically. So, I need to talk with you and figure out what we’d know about Sburb so I can get a better idea of what we actually know about the game. Get to me when you can on that. But, enough of this. Here’s what you all really want. Hope this is still up to par.

Or instead of fallen in, climbed out. And not someone, nor something… Some animal. With a sound that can only be described as a sick coughing, it rears up and makes undulating movements as the thing tries to clear its windpipe of the water. It’s rather hard to tell what it is, because with the torchlight flickering and casting both light and shadows all over the place, certain things and areas are difficult to make out. Deciding to take the path of least violence, I take a tentative step forward, and call out to the… Whatever the hell it is.

GG: hey, animal…thing.
you alright?
???: NEEK!
GG: …the fuck you say about me?
GA: Noah, what the fuck was-
???: NEEKNEEK!
GA: What the hell is that thing?
GG: if i could get some light on it, i’d tell you.
right now all i canAAAAAUUUAAAAGH!

Faster than a raging bicycle, it shot towards me, and out of sheer surprise I fell backwards, right on my ass. My wrench clanged loudly against the stone floor and the sound was unexpected enough to make the creature misjudge its lunge. Instead of hitting it’s mark, it sailed directly over me. The thing slammed right into the door behind me, and the thud it made upon connecting reverberated throughout the cavern. Trying to steady my breathing, I clasp Gary’s outstretched hand in my own and haul myself up off of my startled ass. As I picked up my wrench and started tying it back on, I took a closer look at our new (and unconscious) guest.

GG: …….it’s
GA: ……. A snake.
GG&GA: …… wat.
GA: There’s no way in hell that snake made that noise we just heard.
GG: i dunno… i mean, look at all of this.
GA: Ok, I can understand that.
This game created worlds for us.
And allowed us to mess with each other’s homes.
GG: which i’m still not forgiving you for.
i liked that desk.
GA: I reiterate, that was an ACCIDENT.
My internet connection had a… mishap.
GG: and as such, you dropped my tv onto my desk.
poor thing.
GA: May it rest in splintery peace.
GG: may we have a moment of silence for my desk and the unnamed, but no less important, objects it held.
GG&GA: ………
GG: …what are we even doing.
this is stupid.
it’s a fucking desk.
GA: You called for the moment he silence.
Of*. Dammit, this is getting stupid, I’m not this bad…
Hey, random but no less important thought- Have you heard from any of the others…?
GG: we have many other players, Gary.
feel free to specify who you mean.
GA: Har har. I take it to mean you’ve heard nothing from anyone then?
GG: an apt and succinct conclusion, yes.
GA: In that case, I’m gonna try and contact TZ. Maybe Alec while I’m at it….

While Gary made a few calls (I say that, but he really didn’t, it was all text-based. I’m such a bad liar.), I busied myself with the snake. Looking at it up close, and without distraction, I’m finally able to drink in it’s description fully. About 3 feet long, with a solid tangerine coloring. That’s it. I can honestly say it was one of the blandest snakes I’ve ever seen, especially for a game. Bending down, I reach out and tentatively tug on the business end of him. (It was at this point that I decided that this snake would be male, for simplicity’s sake.) My tug, however, was in vain, as the poor thing seemed to have knocked himself out cold with his shenanigans. Ah well. It’s better this way. Why? Because I’m being pestered, that’s why. Who the hell…

Answer indoorPaladin ==>

IP: Hey, Noah, you still alive over there?
GG: huh? yeah, i’m still dandy.
what’s up?
IP: Oh, ok, I was just checking.
Kady started pestering me since you stopped talking with her and she was wondering what happened.
GG: whoopsie, that’d be my mistake, obviously.
thanks Cinn. ‘preciate it.
also, you hear anything from our other players?
IP: Well, Tenzen’s doing alright, we’re keeping in contact…
Alec was trying to contact Gary last I heard.
GG: it’s possible that the area we’re in prevented messages from getting through.
but Gary’s working on contacting Alec right now.
IP: Good. As for Anne and Rants, I’ve got nothing.
I’ll probably check in on them soon if Tenzen doesn’t.
GG: cool. so, i found this weird symbol in a ruin on my planet.
it’s on a door. and looking at it, it doesn’t look like i could open it myself.
IP: You take your time with your messages, I’ve noticed.
GG: it’s so all my words are spelled correctly. personal pet peeve.
IP: Yet the only thing you capitalize is people’s names.
GG: out of pure respect.
IP: wow, you are a saint, aren’t you.
GG: /bows
only the best
IP: While that may be so-
Answer Kady, for god’s sakes, she’s going bonkers.
GG: whoops.

Calm her down ==>

GG: hey.
i’m alive.
i believe it was these ruins/this underground area that-
MF: X<
GG: oh come on now, i didn’t even get to finish explaining
i think this… place temporarily blocked the signal, cause according to Cinn-
Alec tried contacting Gary, and Gary apparently didn’t get anything from anyone recently.
so don’t blame me, it really wasn’t my fault.
GA: Hey Noah?
GG: yeah, what’s up?
MF: Still… what’d you find in that place, if anything?
GG: nothing much. water. a weird symbol. oh, and a snake.
GA: If it’s cool with you, I’m gonna go on ahead.
Alec apparently would like me to join him on his world, so I need to start gate-hunting.
MF: A snake? and what’s the symbol?
GG: yeah, that’s cool man, i’ll probably see you later.
assuming, of course, i don’t die from the humidity here.
GA: Can you not?
GG: sorry.
GG: yeah, a snake. it lunged for me after making a weird noise.
it missed, mainly cause it startled me into falling on my ass.
sailed right over me, and into a stone door.
he’s out cold, at the moment.
and as for the symbol… it’s…
MF: …….
Noah?…
GG: thinking on how to describe it…
fuck it.
this is what i told Gary-
i see a face with a curleh mustache.
MF: -___- really.
GG: yes, really.
you’ve no idea how hard it is for me to explain how it looks.
and it’s purple. so that’s a plus for you, i guess.
MF: :D
Although… unrelated topic, but these… imps, are they? they’re giving me a hard time… ^^;;
GG: hmm… if i could find a way there i would.
but since i don’t know how to…
MF: I’ll message you later combat time love you :*
GG: shit… be careful.
love you too.
:*

That’s all I’ll be able to work on for now. My juices aren’t exactly flowing lately, and I’ve also stumbled onto a bit of writer’s block, so it’s gonna be a bit before I start Section 4. That, and I need info from Tenzen. The writer’s block is what’s really going to hold me up though….

Hope you’ve enjoyed it so far though. Also, if you notice anything about your character that I’ve done wrong, or some spelling and/or grammar error that I missed, feel free to let me know, obviously. ^_^

Ugh, my brain wants to rebel and play Dragon’s Dogma, but I needed to finish this section. Still slow going, after this section I’m thinking things will pick up a bit. Hope you enjoy.

Panting, I collapse onto my hands and knees, absolutely drenched in sweat. My clothes are sticking to me like wet newspaper. Hair matted to my skull, I remove my hat and proceed to head-bang the sweat out. Droplets fly everywhere, some splattering Gary, not like it matters. Poor guy looks like he climbed out of swimming pool in his attire. His jacket slung over his shoulder, shirt unbuttoned and tie hanging limply around his neck, he doesn’t even notice the sweat pelt him. His scarf is a soggy mess, and his attention is currently turned to it. Giving it a mighty twist, he wrings a considerable amount of liquid out of it.

GA: Oh god, this CANNOT be good for this…
It’s probably gonna shrink…
Hey, Noah, how far you think we have to go until we find this damn gate?
GG: ………..
GA: … Noah? You ok?
GG: huh, oh, yeah i’m fine. was checking up.
GA: Oh, how’s she doing?
GG: fine. she’s reached her first gate, so, we should be hearing from her soon, hopefully.
GA: Good. I hope she gets though this ok.
Through*
GG: …oh goddamit.
GA: What, what’s wrong?
GG: i completely forgot that she deals terribly with humidity like this.
motherfuck, i should have waited for her
GA: Dude, calm down, it’ll-
GG: no, man, i’m not letting my fucking world of all things take her down
if i go back now, i’d probably arrive at the same time she does…
GA: Dude, you are NOT going back.
Besides, you don’t know how long it’ll take her to find her gate.
She’ll probably have found a way to craft something that could help her, too.
Anything could harem.
Happen* … Total accident.
GG: yeah, i’ll bet.
sigh i guess you’re right.
lemme take a look around, see what i can find in the way of my gate.

Sloppily, I climb a nearby rock for a better vantage point. Sitting comfortably atop it, I pull the handle of my SLOTS REEL. My fetch modus is SLOTS, and it can be rather annoying some times. If you don’t get at least two icons of the item you want on screen, a random item is ejected. At high speed. At your face. … I really need a better one. Aiming for my brother’s pilfered binoculars, I watch the reels slow to a crawl, thankfully providing me with what I ask for. Wiping the sweat from my eyes, I skim the horizon for a trace of blue. Finding none, I turn to jump down, when something catches my eye. Off to my left… Something… Looks like ruins. Even with the binocs it’s hard to tell. Something about it doesn’t sit well with me though. As I slide off the rock, I tuck the binoculars back into my sylladex and quickly untie the rope holding the large wrench against my back. I heft it over my shoulder and Gary notices my readiness. He fixes me with a worried look.

GA: What’s the matter? Enemies?
GG: no, we’re clear. i might have spotted some ruins way over there though.
GA: Ok, then why are you readying your weapon?
GG: something about it doesn’t seem right.
like… i dunno, i can’t describe it.
just a gut feeling.
GA: I gotcha. So, you wanna check it our?
Out*
GG: yeah, why not. i mean, could be we’ll find something there.
GA: Yeah, like WATER.
GG: ah, take it easy i-
…
GA: Noah?
GG: hold on, she’s able to contact me.

==> Answer mysteriousFoureyes

MF: Hello. :* :)
…..
You there?…
GG: yeah, i’m here.
what’s up? :* :)
MF: Well… i reached my land. It’s… amazing…
Color and Frogs
and after roaming around,
you’ll NEVER guess what i found. :3
GG: a rhinoceros strung up by his testicles and hung from a billboard advertising car insurance?
MF: -__-
GG: no?
MF: *walks away*
GG: ok, ok, i’m sorry, i just… couldn’t resist.
MF: Dork… :* no, FERRETS.
GG: wat
MF: AND THEIR PURPLE.
GG: they’re*. and holy shit, are you yanking my chain?
u avin a go, m8?
MF: -_- I’m serious! THEY’RE adorable…
And you need to get here. I wanna show you this place.
GG: yeah, kinda trying to not die here.
gary and i are heading towards some ruins on my world.
gonna check em out.
MF: Yeah, i found some ruins here too. Nothing special, but they’re fun to explore. ^_^
GG: hold on…
MF: Hm?

We had reached the ruin, and we were finally able to see through the haze the humidity had wrought. It wasn’t a ruin at all. It was a gigantically elaborate entrance to an underground cavern. Snakes were carved into the face of the entrance. The carvings continued past the archway which towered over a small stairway leading down into the earth. Upon starting down the stairway, Gary and I both breath the same sigh of relief as the cool air washed over us. For a good ten minutes, the two of us descend the staircase in silence, the darkness growing thicker the further we go. Just as I start to clear my throat to speak, we take one last turn on the staircase and immediately come out into a massive cavern. Torches line the walls, throwing everything into sharp relief. A pool of crystal clear water glitters on the far side, and the next moment has us barreling towards it at full speed. Gary skids to a halt in front of it and cups water in his hands and proceeds to throw it on his face. I cut out the middle man and dunk my head, hat and all, straight into the water. As I come up for air, Gary calls my attention to something.

GA: Hey, look over there.
That huge door, there, see it?
GG: i see it, yeah. what about it?
GA: Do you see the symbol on it?
GG: yeah. i’ve never seen that symbol before though.
like a guy with a weird moustache….
GA: What?
GG: see how it curls up like that? i see a face.
there’s the curves for the eyes, there’s his mouth.
and this is his handlebar moustache.
GA: … It’s stupid, but I see it.
And here’s another question-
GG: why’s it purple?
GA: So you were thinking it to.
Too*, ugh.
Why is this symbol purple, of all colors? Shouldn’t it just be like… Carved into the stone? Instead of painted on?
GG: what are you even on about?
GA: Isn’t that how ruins work?
The symbols inside it are carved into the ruins themselves?
GG: …. you are cracked. what about Egyptians?
didn’t they paint inside their pyramids?
GA: Probably, but I was trying to be genre-savvy.
GG: oh, right, cause this technically is a game.
maybe it’s a “our ruins are different” type deal?
GA: It could be…
GG: in any case, i think this-

I cut off. From somewhere behind me, I hear a splashing sound. Wheeling around, I notice that the water I had previously dunked my head in was rippling, as though something, or perhaps someone, had fallen in…

Slow going so far, but I figured I’d give those who cared to view it a look at what I have so far. I wrote all this within the span of four hours. My thoughts are taking their sweet time working with me. It’s not much, but I hope you like it.

GA: You sure she’s gonna be alright?
I mean, if you do this, it’ll be two more gates before she meets up with anyone else.
GG: yeah, she should be alright.
she’s always talking about how she’s a big girl and can do things herself, so i figure she can handle things if she keeps it up.
GA: I hope so.
Mane, I can’t see a thing on your world.
Man*
My glasses are fogged beyond belief
GG: yeah, it gets pretty soggy here.
it’s why i always wear my goggles.
keeps the sweat from rolling into my eyes.
GA: You really have that, don’t you?
Hate* Son of a bitch…

I hefted my wrench onto my shoulder and chuckled. Gary and I were standing on the back deck of my apartment, which had been dumped like Dorothy’s house into my world- the Land of Humidity and Words. Feels like a goddamn sauna, and it’s a really odd place, to boot. Since Words is part of my world, it took on some interesting interpretations. We’re currently standing on the DECK of my APARTMENT. … Get it yet? No, I guess that is pretty fucking impossible to guess, sorry. My deck is literally made from the word DECK. The word APARTMENT forms my apartment… Which I can go in like normal. It’s like some crazy Dr. Suess shit, seriously. Anyhow, back to important shit on LoHaW, this is important.

GA: So, here’s a question.
How’d you even get me here?
GG: honestly, i have no idea.
i was tooling around with this panel in a ruin i found.
and it let me see you.
so i pushed some buttons, turned some dials
GA: Wait, wait, wait.
GG: wat
GA: You found a ransom machine
Random* Fuck…
Random machine that was viewing me
And decided to fuck with it?
Not knowing what it could have done to me?
GG: …. yeah, sounds about right.
GA: God damn it, how you still live eludes even me.
GG: it’s a nice swill of pychosis, luck, and a daily dose of my favorite phrase-
we’ll see what happens.
GA: That phrase holds many a shameful memory.
GG: yeah, but it helped get you out of danger and here with me now.
GA: /swoon
GG: ah, get over yourself.
anyhow, onto important shit.
fucking imps are everywhere man.
gotta fucking kill, kill, kill, with no end in sight.
what’s worse than that?
they’re all fucking prototyped with my voodoo doll.
GA: Didn’t you get that thing from a game store?
GG: yeah, cheap five bucks, but that ain’t the point!
point is, now they all look like that thing
and I hate it cause it freaks me out
GA: It freaks you out.
GG: yes
GA: The voodoo doll does.
And, by extension, the imps do as well.
GG: yeah.
your point?
GA: If it freaks you out, why’d you buy it?
GG: ….
…….
cause it freaked me out.
GA: You’re fuckin’ hopeless.

Making a mental note of that, I hoist my wrench above my head, and leap from my DECK onto the ground before me. Not even feet away from me are some imps, already scrambling towards me with their five-fold prototyping showing. The yarn patterns from my voodoo doll look like they’re etched into the imps faces. Sickeningly cool. Bringing Monkey-Nuts (Monkey-Nuts is my wrench) down in an arc, I plough into five imps at once, flinging them into Gary’s path. In one swift motion, the blade came up and through one, two, three, four and there we have five mangled imps, folks. The blade has perfectly rent through their stubby little necks. There’s a reason this man and I work together.

In kind repayment for my generous sharing of XP, Gary bolts towards me and vaults over me. As he lands, I see him jut the pole portion of his weapon towards me. How gentlemanly, he provided me with a ladder. Hopping onto his pole, I am immediately launched directly into the air, soaring far higher than I imagined. I can tell I’m at least five feet above the roof of my apartment. So… Twenty… plus five…. carry the two… 25 feet in the air. Damn. Gary’s been hittin’ the gym, no doubt. Reality sets in as I plummet back towards the sweat-covered ground, and I further the trip by flinging my wrench-arm ground-ward. I flatten one poor bastard on impact, and the resulting shockwave sends nearby imps flying.

GA: You’ve got great AoE, but I think I best you in DPS.
GG: ya know,
iwasn’t gonna turn this into a competition
but you had to go there, didn’t you
GA: Go where? I’m just saying. :b
GG: don’t turn this into a versus match man
you will not like it.
GA: I’m not, I’m seriously saying, it’s great.
And here’s another question-
How’d you get so strong already?
GG: what do you mean
GA: How about that dynamic entree you just pulled?
Entry* how in the fuck did that happen…
That was a pretty big fall.
GG: uhhh…
luck. i’ll go with luck, since i’ve put that out there before.
my arm does hurt like a bitch though
GA: Ok, so you don’t have superhuman strength or anything, you’re just acting though.
Tough* Fucking hell.
GG: hey, cut me some slack.
would it kill ya to leave my ego untouched…